Blended Families ~ Tips for Adding Steps to the Big Day

   Years and years ago, getting married used to include the bride’s parents and the groom’s parents, the father of the bride walked the bride down the aisle, and the mother and father of the bride gave her away to be joined with her husband. Over the years though, you see more and more couples getting married where one or both of them have stepparents due to divorce of their biological parents. So, the question of how to involve the biological parents and the stepparents in the wedding might be raised.


   For some, involving the stepparents is not a difficult task. It seems that the two sets of parents get along with each other or are at least civil to one another, so involving everyone in your wedding won’t be risky and won’t offend anyone. But there are circumstances where none of the parents, biological or stepparent, can get along at all, they can’t even seem to be in the same room for five minutes without some kind of a disagreement taking place. You might ask how to go about handling a situation such as that one.

   I highly suggest that you sit down with both sets of parents and inform them that you would like for all of them to participate in and share in your big day, but that you have some reservations about doing so, and then explain to them what your reservations are and ask if they have any suggestions on how this can be worked out so that all of them can share in your day with you. Do not be afraid to tell them exactly how you expect things to go because this is your special day and not a single part of it should be ruined just because four adults can’t seem to be civil to one another for a few hours for the sake of your happiness.

   There are a couple of things that you can do to include them all in your ceremony. One way would be to sit all four of them in the row designated for the parents. Another way would be to take two different sets of wedding pictures, one with the biological family and one with the stepfamily. And, another very important way to include both sets of parents would be to allow both dads to walk their little girl down the aisle, one on each side of her.

   The point is, this is your day and nothing should be allowed to ruin it for you. Both sets of parents will have to be adult enough to be civil to each other throughout the wedding and reception. If this is something that they are unwilling or incapable of doing then perhaps it's time for them to realize it is your day...