Sunday, June 6, 2010

Pre-Wedding Planning - Keeping the "I do's" in Place!

Other than a few oddballs out there, I believe we all go into marriages with the intention of remaining there forever. Interestingly enough though, we will do more research and planning on which car to buy, which neighborhood to live in and which flower is the most perfect for our wedding than how to stay married once the big day is over.

Marriage is hard work. Very hard. It has enormous rewards for those who put in the hard work, but can turn appallingly sour if we sit back and assume that it will just live and thrive on it's own. Premarital counseling is a great start for any couple, regardless if you have been together only 6 months or you have been cohabiting for 10 years and have just now decided to make it legal.

Have you talked about how many children you each hope to have (or if either of you don't want any at all...)? Do you have similar child rearing techniques in mind?  Will you keep separate bank accounts, only a joint account, or a mix of both? How will you budget your income(s)? Do you have unique religious views - how will this be handled? When outside family and/or friends try to offer (or push) advice on your relationship how will this be handled? This list could go on and on...

Most religious institutions offer premarital classes or one-on-one counseling. If this is not the route for you, many therapists also offer the same options. If you happen to be establishing a blended family it is even more highly recommended that you take part in some sort of counsel beforehand to fully realize and prepare for the unique situations that are bound to arise. 

There are also numerous books and video packages you can obtain if you feel that getting started on your own is a better choice. It can do no harm to at least try one of these options to get your impending wedded bliss on the right track!

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